Attachment Style Parenting
Part I: An Introduction for Adoptive Parents
Attachment style parenting is all about creating a secure and loving bond with your child. The idea comes from attachment theory, which shows that early relationships shape how kids relate to themselves and others as they grow up. The core idea focuses on building that secure base through responsiveness, consistency, and nurturing. This helps children feel valued, seen, and heard. It’s not just about meeting basic needs, but about emotionally attuning to them.
Attachment Styles
Here’s a quick overview of the attachment styles:
• Secure Attachment:
Kids feel safe and know their parents will be there for them. This type of bond helps them feel confident to explore the world.
• Insecure-Avoidant:
These children often appear independent but struggle with trust and may avoid closeness.
• Insecure-Ambivalent/Anxious:
Kids are often clingy and worry about whether their needs will be met.
• Disorganized Attachment:
Usually a result of trauma or inconsistent caregiving, these kids show unpredictable behaviors and can have trouble forming healthy relationships.
Books and Reading Material
Here are some fantastic resources that can deepen your understanding and provide actionable strategies:
• “The Connected Child” by Dr. Karyn Purvis:
A classic for adoptive and foster parents that walks through attachment and trauma-informed techniques.
• “Parenting from the Inside Out” by Dr. Daniel J. Siegel:
Explores how parents’ own childhood experiences can impact their parenting style.
• “The Whole-Brain Child” by Dr. Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson:
Offers practical tips to help parents nurture brain development through understanding and connection.
Practical Tips for Your Journey
• Be Patient with Yourself:
This isn’t about being perfect; it’s about showing up, even on the hard days.
• Self-Care Matters:
You can’t pour from an empty cup. Taking care of yourself means you’re better equipped to meet your child’s needs.
• Connect Before You Correct:
When issues arise, focusing on the connection first can make all the difference.
Attachment style parenting takes time and dedication, but the payoff is enormous in terms of trust, emotional security, and healthy development for your child.
